venting: architecture and children

i ran across this discussion thread on archinect over the weekend and i was deeply annoyed by the negative anti-child/career responses.

anyone who knows me knows that i'm all about the choice to choose when and whether to procreate. i've never deemed it a selfish decision not to have children. but what i do think is selfish is for people on either side to insult eachother or for that choice and choose to limit their perception of people based on their status as a parent. in my opinion, this is just as bad as limiting your perception of people because of race, ability or sexuality. i think as a parent, it grates against my very being to hear parents referred to as "breeders", boring people that only know how to talk about soccer practice...and children referred to as "gross" and as "extra mouthfuls". its like people don't value their own parents and the fact that they were once children.

i have my moments when its really hard but, just so i'm on record, my venting about being a parent and trying to pursue architecture has more to do with how the 'system' is set up than any limits that having children inherently place on you. I HATE that people choose see children only as a limitation. maybe its the buddhist upbringing...but i really believe that you create your own destiny and reality. if people only relied on how things had been done in the past and the constructed societal "limits"...where would we be as a society? i wouldnt have done a lot of the things that i've done if i'd chosen to embrace those ideas. when i wanted to go to an ivy league school and my advisor told me they didn't except mediocre students...i pursued it anyway so what i wasn't a straight a student, my portfolio kicked ass and i volunteered like crazy and was politically active and that multi-dimensionality (i think i just made that word up) was an asset.

children can make you happier than any loving bond you've ever experienced...if you want them. here's a shout out to my son, for his contribution to my life. making it a life full and enriched in ways i could never imagine. he's my best design project yet. we get to shape him and mold him with all the hopes that we have for humanity and watch him develop his own identity and contributions to this world.


Blogger mad architect said...

fight the power! Yeah!

I think it goes back to a point you/I raised about the "model" architect and how we as professionals have defined ourselves into a box. Being childless/without child it only an extension of this very same rhetoric -


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